Excerpt below:

Dear Dr Jones,

“While your conclusions are fascinating, there are certain aspects of your journey that for the sake of my reputation (to say nothing of yours) should probably be downplayed. For example, there is the following passage:

“I ran past a bunch of traps that were rigged to fire poisoned darts at me if I stepped in the wrong place. Luckily, I’m very nimble, and I made it to the Chachapoyan Fertility Idol. I swapped it with a bag of sand, but I must have gotten the weight wrong, because I activated another trap that collapsed the entire cave!“

I find this highly distressing to read, as an archaeologist. It is true that the golden monkey statue is very swell, as the kids say, but a millennia-old tomb full of functioning traps isn’t just an archaeological treasure; it’s a technological marvel. I can’t even begin to explain how much we could have learned from this site if you had not exploded it.”